Setbacks have an upside...

...they fuel new dreams ~Dara Torres

Great news! I have a new 10k PR! Today, I ran the Pike's Peek 10k in Rockville, MD in 44:38. My PR before today was 45:49 set back in December of 2010 at the Jingle All the Way 10k. It has been almost a year since I ran a 10k. In May 2011, I ran the Capitol Hill Classic in 48:33. So all of this feels pretty awesome right now...at least it did once I crossed the Finish line. Ha. 

My teammate, Jessica (behind me on the left), kicked butt and left me in the dust at the half way point. She had an awesome race today and helped me keep pushing. (Photo by Cheryl Young)

I felt ready for this race, but wasn't SUPER EXCITED or have those good race day nerves like I normally do before races. I was feeling a little numb and scared. I would be lying if I said my experiences and performances in Boston and at the USA 1/2 didn't negatively effect my confidence and love for racing. I have been sad, mad, frustrated and stewing over those races for over a month now. This morning, I was basically tired of worrying about it. I was going to go out and give it my all, as usual. I really didn't want to screw this race up but it is always a possibility. I wanted to run smart. I knew in order to PR, I would have to maintain at least a 7:14 pace. I was going to try and focus on running relaxed, by feel and not look at my watch too much. 

If you look at the course profile elevation chart, it appears that this point to point race goes straight down hill. That is not really the case. There are some rollers in there. The first mile felt relatively comfortable at a 7:09 pace. Mile two still felt ok at the same effort, but I was surprised I ran it a little slower at 7:13. The third mile was tough, but I managed to eek out a 7:07 mile. As I passed the 5k mark, the clock (not my watch) read 23:XX. I got kind of bummed for a minute because I didn't think I could maintain the pace I had been running for another 3.1 miles, much less pick it up and that it was really unlikely I would break my current PR. I must have had race brain because I totally forgot I started in the 2nd wave which was a minute behind the clock - duh! I am kind of proud of myself though for continuing to push and not think about that for the rest of the race. Miles 4, 5, and 6 felt hard but I tried to remain in control of my breathing and relax. I ran those in 7:11, 7:15 and 7:19. Yes, looking at my splits I am sure you noticed that this was not a perfectly executed race. My goal should be to negative split the race and that obviously didn't happen. I am still very happy with the end result. 

I am excited and more motivated than I have been in weeks. Why? I really think I have it in me to run faster than what I ran today. Even though it was tough at times, there are several things I really want to work on over the next month that will help me get there. First, core work. I believe that 99% of the tightness and aches I have through my hips and butt have to do with the lack of consistent core work. I preach the benefits to everyone, but have to make sure that I am at least doing 20 minutes per day. Second, foam rolling. It does wonders. Period. Lastly, I have to stop snacking like I am training for a 50 miler. I am a creature of habit and have a hard time breaking them. I like snacking, but need to decrease my calorie intake a little bit.  

I am really happy I ran this race today. It was exactly what I needed to put all this other junk behind me. 

I run with some fast people! A lot of CAR PRs today! (Photo by Cheryl Young)

To see all the race photos Cheryl took today, visit her Photos Page 

THANKS CHERYL!!!

The Journey

As many of you already know, my Boston marathon experience wasn’t all that I was expecting it to be. I appreciate all of your support and encouragement through this entire journey. That is what a marathon is – a journey. It’s not just about the race, but everything that leads up to it as well. When I look back at my training cycle, I feel proud. I went out and gave 100% at every workout. I also had some pretty major life transitions over the 15 weeks of training. Some really good. Some not so good.

So, what happened at the race? I felt so ready at the Starting line. Better than I have ever felt at any race. I don’t know what to say other than my body just wasn’t prepared for that kind of heat. I already decided that this was not going to be a PR day for me. When I lined up at the Start, I was ready to take it slow and just finish feeling good, embracing/appreciating the experience. I was so excited. Well hydrated. Well fueled.

Even though the humidity was pretty low, the sun was so hot. I was already sweating by the time I got to my corral which is really unusual for me even in very warm conditions. It usually takes me about a mile or two in 80 degree weather before I have to wipe the sweat off my brow. I had been training at an 8 minute mile race pace, but decided to take it back and aim for an 8:30 pace because of the heat. I felt ok the first 4 miles: 8:28; 8:26; 8:25; 8:28. I carried a handheld with water and was drinking every ½ mile. I ate a Peanut Butter GU at the 45 minute mark. Then, I noticed my pace really starting to drop 8:40; 8:46; and my breathing was all off. (It gets gross now, so you can skip to the next paragraph if you have a weak stomach.) Just as I passed the 10k mark, I started burping up the Peanut Butter GU. Then, a wave of nausea hit me like a truck. At the 7 mile water station, I went behind the tables and threw up. That has never happened to me before.  I was freaked out, but decided to just keep going. The miles kept getting slower with the same amount of effort and I felt like crap…8:51; 9:18; 9:47. I stopped sweating. I kept going. I got the chills. I didn’t know what to do. I stopped and chugged water and Gatorade, took another GU. I kept going. The pace was pathetic. Then, the last straw. My fingers and toes started getting tingly and numb. I stopped to walk. I thought, well maybe I will just walk/run it from here. The tingly sensation didn’t go away and I knew that it wasn’t going to get better. I knew right then, there was no way I was going to run a “respectable” race. I wasn’t going to finish happy or strong. IF I even made it that far. I ducked in a medical tent. They made me lay down, put ice packs on my body, filled me with fluids and I sobbed.

They put me in a van and after a couple logistical SNAFUs, I eventually made it to the Finish where I met my mom, Aunt Jane and Brenda. They had been waiting for me at Mile 17. I felt horrible. I made them take time out of their busy lives to come and watch me and I couldn’t do it. Then, out of the blue, Nora (a CAR teammate) popped up. She had dropped out at Mile 16 but was physically and mentally a little (A LOT) more together than me. She told me that she talked to George and he said we did the right thing. She offered words of encouragement and a hug. Quite admirable for a 23 year old. I found the bag I checked, called George, blabbing nonsense I am sure between the sobs, then got in a cab to head back to the hotel with my cheering squad.

I took a shower, sat in my room and pouted for a couple hours. I called (cried) to Amy. She told me it was ok to feel sad for a bit, but not for too long. Set it aside and move on. That is what I did. It was tough to see everyone walking around with their medals and smiles – although there was a hint of defeat and disappointment in many people’s eyes. No one had an easy or spectacular day.  

I kept wondering what I could have done differently. In hindsight, I should have deferred until next year. That did not happen, so instead of dropping my pace my 30 seconds, I should have dropped it to a minute or even 90 seconds if I expected not to crash. It is what it is. Who knows if that would have helped.

“What is next?”…“What redemption marathon will you do?”

I started getting these questions almost immediately. My answer was: “I don’t know.”  I decided not to think about it until after Jim’s Memorial Service. I didn’t look up any other races, but did start running again on Wednesday. No watch, no pressure. I just ran because I needed to. I logged 43 miles last week.

I returned home on Sunday and started a pro/con type of list in regards to what I want to do next. I think I had a couple choices: 1) Do a marathon in the next month or two. 2) Call this training cycle a wash and move on. With some help, I have decided on option 2. I invested so much time, energy, emotion, money, etc., into Boston that I don't know if I have it in me to do one again so soon. That line of thinking just leads me to question whether I am just being a wimp/taking the easy way out because I am scared. But, oh well. It seems like such a shame to let all that work go to waste. Was it really a waste though? I have to keep reminding myself that it is about the journey. I have built a solid base; I am feeling more confident on the track; and I have learned so much. Option 2 is the right decision for me.

So really, what is next? Anyone who knows me, know that I am at my best when I have a goal. I can jog around town for about a week, before I start to get antsy. It was recommended that I do Pike’s Peak 10k this weekend. My first thought was, “What?!? Race this weekend?!? Already?!?” I trust though that this is the right thing for me and my running right now.

Thank you all for your notes, texts, emails, tweets, Facebook messages, etc.. I will never be able to express how much your words meant to me when I was feeling pretty terrible. Thank you to my cheering squad for putting up with me. I did have a great time despite the end result. I will be writing a post about the fun too in the next few days!

Boston Training: Week 15 Summary

I am sitting here, the eve before my first Boston Marathon with my feet propped up, GU Brew by my side...relaxing. Ahhh. I really feel pretty good. I have been having bouts of anxiety all weekend, but I am more excited than anything. It is going to be hot tomorrow. Period. It is what it is. As George mentioned in an email to all the CAR Boston runners yesterday, "If you were going into this race with any expectations for an extremely fast time, toss them out the window. All you should be looking to do is limit the damage that the heat could potentially cause and salvage a respectable race." I am going to be smart. I learned some valuable lessons at the National Half last month which I do not want to repeat specifically about pace and hydration. I will carry water. I will drink every mile. I will run based on feel. I want tomorrow to be an awesome day. I want to feel good as I cross the finish line. I have been working my butt off for the past 11 years for this day and I want to soak it all up. I have overcome a lot of obstacles to get here and I refuse to let anything - heat, hills, or myself - defeat me. 

It's all the times you thought you couldn't make it but then did. Welcome to Boston.

~quote from an Adidas ad included in a card a special teammate gave me~   

  

TOTAL:  21 miles

4/9 (Monday) - Pool Running 2 hours

I used up my 20 pool visit punch card this morning. I may buy an unlimited pass. I can see myself using the pool more and more for recovery. There was a lot of CAR company this morning with Jessica M, Cris, Allison and Amy joining in the fun. 

4/10 (Tuesday) - Intervals AM

This morning was the first track morning I didn't wake up a little nervous and anxious. I am still not entirely comfortable on the track, but every session gets a little easier. Also, the pressure is off. I knew I would be doing the bare minimum. Everyone was in a great mood, the weather was wonderful and it was just fun. A great way to end this training cycle. I did a 2 mile warm up and cool down, then 1 x 1600 in 6:50; 1 x800 in 3:18; and 1 x 800 in 3:17. I didn't want to leave to go to work!

4/11 (Wednesday) - 5 miles EASY PM

A small, but distinguished group tonight. Ha! It was just Allison and I. I enjoyed hearing about her upcoming swim meet. Swimming intrigues me. I have yet to swim a real lap in the pool, outside of my pool running. I will in the coming recovery weeks though.

4/12 (Thursday) - OFF

I did nothing and it felt great! Who am I kidding? I hate not doing anything. I feel so blahh, but that is what the taper is all about. Embrace the blahh!

4/13 (Friday) - 5 miles EASY AM

Amy and I met to run the Fun Run route this morning. A beautiful morning and perfect last run at home before I travel to Boston tomorrow morning. 

4/14 (Saturday) - OFF

I traveled to Boston this morning and was pretty much on the move the whole day. I could have snuck in a run, but decided to just relax. 

4/15 (Sunday) - 4 miles EASY AM

I had the best shake out run ever! I made myself turn around at the 2 mile mark. It was such a beautiful day and I felt so good, I actually negotiated with myself to maybe turn it into a 5 mile run. Why though? Is that extra mile going to make the race tomorrow easier? The answer is no. We had lunch with some good long time family friends and now this is what I am doing:

My view all afternoon until dinner.

Boston Training: Week 14 Summary

Well, we are one week out from the race and I am as ready as I am going to be! I am trying to be more excited than nervous/scared. I do get a little lump in my throat and my breathing becomes short when I start thinking about the Starting Line but I just close my eyes, breathe deep and work through it. I have been trying to figure out where these feelings are coming from, but I am not going to dwell because I do trust my training. I know I went out there for the past 14 weeks and gave it my all. Yep, there were some mental/emotional bumps. Yep - I could have executed many of the workouts better, but this is all very new to me and I am learning what exactly to expect from myself. This week will be focused on resting my legs and making sure my body is as fresh as possible come Monday, 4/16 at 10:40am. 

  

TOTAL:  39.45 miles

 

4/2 (Monday) - Pool Running 2 hours

The pool was filled with recovering CAR-folk this morning after a PR-filled race weekend. I had a dermatologist appointment this morning, so I wanted to sleep in a bit but I was wide awake at 5am and in the pool by 6:15am. I planned on staying in the pool until 8:15am. With 10 minutes to go, I decided to go float-belt-less. I made it 6 laps which is a record for me. I will be spending a lot of time in the pool after Boston and will work on building up my endurance.

4/3 (Tuesday) - Intervals AM

Everyone in the group was doing some sort of 1600, 1200, 800, 400 combo today. Amy and I ran together and ended up doing 1 x 1600 in 6:50; 1 x 1200 in 5:09; 2 x 800s in 3:17/3:15, And my first and last 400 of this training cycle in 1:35, I think.
4/4 (Wednesday) - 5 miles EASY PM
It was a perfect weather night for the CAR Fun Run. I contemplated getting up and doing a short run in the morning since I have been doing doubles on Wednesday. When my alarm went off at 5am, sleep sounded like more fun. Whatever fitness I have right now isn't going anywhere and nothing is going to make me faster/help me at this point besides rest, proper nutrition and hydration.  
4/5 (Thursday) - OFF
I had every intention of getting up and going to the pool today even though there was a big, fat, "OFF" on my training plan. I just feel better when I move. My alarm went off at 5am, I turned it off, shut my eyes and when I opened them it was 7am! Ooops. I was beat myself up for a few minutes because I knew I wouldn't be able to do anything tonight but I had to let it go.  
4/6 (Friday) - Tempo AM

I had a 5K tempo on the plan this morning. I ran with Stephanie D, Elizabeth and Marcy. I felt great the first mile (which is usually my hardest mile) and then it just got progressively harder. I didn't wear my watch, but I assume I got slower as well. I don't know what is going on and to be honest, I am not even going to try and figure it out at this point. It is what it is. My training is over. I will continue to give 100% and trust. That is all I can do.
4/7 (Saturday) - 12.5 miles
It was an absolutely beautiful morning running on the Capital Crescent Trail towards Bethesda. I was planning on running between 10-12 depending how I felt. Two miles in, I pretty much talked myself into just doing 10. Then at mile 4, I just started feeling great. We maintained an 8:20-8:30 pace miles 4-9, then picked it up to just around an 8 minute pace the last 3 miles or so. I was a little dehydrated at the end because #1) I was wearing too many layers which I often do - I just hate being cold and #2) even though I have been drinking a lot of water, I haven't been focused on the electrolytes and I know that because the tips of my fingers and toes start getting tingly at the end of my run. I got a massage a couple hours after my run and chugged water/electrolytes for the rest of the day. 

4/8 (Sunday) - 6.5 miles

I was hoping to wake up with nice fresh, springy legs this morning. Not so much. My hips, glutes and hamstrings just felt really weird. Not really sore, or tight. Just tired, I think. We were all running different distances today, but Stephanie D and I turned around to head back about 30 minutes into the run, right as we got to the Kennedy Center. I only wanted to do around 7 miles. Steph gave me an awesome pre-race pep talk. She is so inspiring and knew just what I needed to hear. My legs still felt pretty tired until mid-afternoon, then it kinda just worked it's way out and they felt better and fresher as the day went on. Weird.

Boston Training: Week 13 Summary

Ok. This has been kind of a whiny week. I totally get it if you want to close this screen right now. My family went through some pretty rough stuff this past week. Really, the past several months. I am still in the process of trying to sort everything out, but I am really tired of feeling whiny, foggy, sluggish and basically blah. My body is feeling a little beat up. Nothing hurts in particular, I am just achy. When you read below, you will see I did not have a particularly challenging running week. There is no physical reason why I feel the way I do which really reinforces a point that I truly believe - that my mental/emotional well-being can directly effect my physical health. I don't want to feel this way going into Boston. I have 2 weeks to get it together. Saturday was really a recharge day and I am already beginning to feel the effects of doing nothing but running, relaxing in a hot bath, napping, lounging, eating healthy meals and sleeping. I am ready to keep this going!

TOTAL:  38 miles

3/26 (Monday) - Pool Running 1.5 hours

The pool was exceptionally soothing this morning. My muscles are a bit stiff from yesterday's 20+ miler. It was fun to talk to Cristina and Ann about their races this coming weekend - The Cherry Blossom 10-miler and Ukrop's Monument Ave 10K. 

3/27 (Tuesday) - No Running - Cleveland

I unexpectedly had to drive home to Cleveland yesterday. I had every intention of running today. I woke up around 6:30am, threw on all my running gear, went outside only to find that the windchill was about 19 degrees. Um, no thank you. I will wait. After a couple hours of emotional ups and downs, I developed a headache, was tired and gave up, heading back to the hotel room to shower in the afternoon. I did walk up and down 11 flights of stairs twice, so that counts as something but it's not the same as running 8-10 miles. 

The Cleveland Clinic has these signs by the stairwells and elevators.

3/28 (Wednesday) - No Running

I got back to Falls Church this evening and could have made it to the CAR Fun Run, but opted for a hot bath and early bed time instead. I know I would have felt better if I ran, but I didn't.
3/29 (Thursday) - 10 miles EASY AM
It took about every ounce of motivation for me to get out of bed this morning - even after going to bed before 9pm. I had to get some miles in though. I even gave myself permission to walk them which I never do. Those miles don't actually "count" in my log book. I just needed to get them done. Well, it ended up being a very beautiful morning along the Potomac. I ran the entire 10 miles and ended the run feeling so refreshed and renewed.
3/30 (Friday) - Tempo AM
I woke up to some heart breaking news this morning right before 5am. My first inclination was to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. I did just that. My sister and my mom called me back asking, "So, you are up for the day, right? Because you have a track workout that you need to go to, right? HE would want you to go to your track workout, Jess." They told me I needed to make a phone call, get out of bed and GO. My plan was to do a 4-5 mile tempo run. Amy carried me through the first 3 miles. Then, it was just me. I wanted to quit. Then, I thought about all the tennis matches/tournaments HE went to when I was growing up and all the races HE cheered me on at over the years...all of the race expos HE begrudgingly tromped through, carrying all my gear. HE would have been pissed if I stopped and I could hear HIS voice, "Why the hell did you stop?" It took about everything I had to run that last lap and broke down as I finished my last lap. I needed that though. Thanks to Amy, Liz, and Melody for running by my side and then giving me my space. Thanks to George for not giving me a free pass for the day, knowing I needed to run through this and pulling me back at that perfect moment. 
3/31 (Saturday) - 16 miles
I got a lot of sleep, but still woke up a little foggy. There were a group of about six of us running between 14-16. We ran the Hain's Point loop at a nice steady pace. The entire run felt tough, but I was determined to push through. The rest of the day was focused on getting back on a steady plane. I have an ever-growing to-do list but nothing on it NEEDED to be done today. It was more important for me to step back, relax and breath deep. That I did. A hot bath, a nap, a movie, dinner, another nap, foam rolling, stretching, NCAA basketball, another nap, more basketball and then bed. Ha. It doesn't get more relaxing than that!
4/1 (Sunday) - 4 miles
We parked at Jack's Boat House to run to spectate and cheer on our CAR teammates at the Cherry Blossom 10 miler. We probably ran closer to 5 miles, but I am going to lean to the conservative side and say we ran 4 miles total for the day. Another day filled with beautifully executed races and PRs!