We have all been there. If we get 1,000 pats on the back and one negative comment - what do we focus on? That one negative comment. Right? That happened to me recently when I returned to work after running the 50 miler. I had sooooo many people come into my office congratulating me and asking me about the race. Everyone was just very curious about my experience.
Well, after one colleague left my office, I overheard her telling another - "Jessica just ran 50 miles!" The other colleague responded, "Yah, that is what I hear. That really surprises me." It really wasn't the words that bothered me, but the tone in which he used them. I wanted to join in the conversation and ask, "Why does that surprise you?" In hindsight, I should have butted in. I could have done it jokingly and without being defensive. But instead, I chose to dwell. I wanted to ask him:
- What, do you think I am not driven enough? I can tell you that I am as driven in my career as I am in my running life and it's nothing that I hide. Why would he think that?
- Do I not look fit enough? Yes, I dress pretty conservatively at the office and don't show a lot of skin, but I think you can still tell that I am fit.
- Am I too "girly" to run trails and get dirt under my fingernails? Ok. I can see how I may project that image in my everyday life. I like having my fingernails painted, wearing makeup, wearing jewelry and such. But still, athletes can be "girly" and not be afraid of getting sweaty and gross.
- Do you think I am a scaredy cat? You don't see me fearing failure at the office. Why would I fear it running? I often tell my staff that if a campaign fails because we tried something new, or took a risk, that is OK. Fail fast and move on. I am not afraid of apply this to my running either.
 |
| THIS is a scaredy cat! |
What irritates me the most is that I let this comment bother me so much. Why do I spend so much more time on the negative than the positive? Not just with this particualr situation, but it's something I see myself doing every day in my life. I'm working on it and the most important thing is that I am self aware. I have the power to choose to look at things differently.
What a jerk. Maybe he meant that you're too pretty to run. Let's think that :)
ReplyDeleteNot cool. You rock! I was frustrated after my only marathon so far - at which I pretty much choked but finished. Someone out-of-shape commented on the fact that I jogged/walked slow to get through it. Well, then go try!
ReplyDeleteShake it off and keep up the great running skills!
That's unfortunate you have to deal with that. It says a lot about a person's character to have to belittle others to make themselves feel better. I have a few of those in my workplace as well. He's just jealous - you are awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely should have asked! And whatever the answer, you could then have responded with something to the effect of "I dont care what you think because I could kick your ass on any run anytime." It's not too late...
ReplyDeleteYou ran 50 because 'you can' and for your loved ones and you did great. No one knows the effort, dedication, and/or how challenging and rewarding it was more than yourself. That was and is your true prize. What others think, who cares... just laugh about it.
ReplyDeleteDo you need me to come there and kick someone's ass?
ReplyDeleteI think all of us newbie non racing folks think the same initially.
-that 50 miles is beyond one's capabilities. When we see it does happen, we are ultimately surprised.
Love,
Aunt Jane
Ew - sounds like an asshole! I would totally do the same thing, but he's obviously just jealous, and even though you are dying to know, it's good you didn't ask and just give him the satisfaction of making himself feel better by bringing you down even more. You ran 50 miles, I'm sure he never could, because you are AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteAre you in Marketing? Just curious because of the mention of the campaign. Anyway-- he's only saying that because he knows HE could never do such a thing. When people make negative comments about you, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their insecurities.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he didn't think you could actually run that far in one shot?
ReplyDeleteThe people I work with just call me 'crazy' because I run so far everyday. I let it go because I have other things to worry about then stupid comments. You ran a 50 mile race, be proud! :)
I 100% agree with Elizabeth. I've learned through the years that those people have their own demons that tend to be much larger than their small-minded comments.
ReplyDelete